There’s no doubt that our generation is obsessed with social media, and as bloggers, there’s even more pressure for us to grow our presence across the various platforms. We’re constantly trying to up our social media game, figuring out what to post, how to post, when to post – it’s exhausting.
All the stress reached a boiling point last Friday when I read this ridiculous post by Instagram and literally imploded. Since then I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection, and I realized 5 things:
Numbers don’t define your success
It’s hard not to obsess over numbers, but just like people can cheat on tests to get a perfect 100, they can cheat or use questionable tactics to fake their follower count.
If we’ve tried our best and done things the right way, at least we can sleep well at night knowing we’re not living a lie. Not to mention followers gained using these hacks are hardly genuine. Literally, a lot of these are probably bots!
Nasty people are everywhere, but we can choose how to respond to them
We have no control over these people and their despicable actions – whether they’re stealing our work or just being plain rude – but we can choose to not let them get to us.
The last thing we need is for them drag us further into their circus and ruin our day. We’re better than this!
Stay positive, there’s a silver lining in every situation
Despite the bleak circumstances and how discouraged I felt, I forced myself to think positively.
No nasty people or ridiculous algorithm can take away the wonderful friends I’ve made and the support they’ve always shown me. Seriously, every time I see a real comment from a real person (none of that “amazing!! *heart emojis* ” bot bs), it brightens my day.
Stop comparing yourself to others
For every person out there that’s “better” than us, there will be another person who is in a less fortunate situation.
If we choose to only look at what we don’t have, we’ll never be satisfied with what abundance we already have. If you really want to compare, compare yourself to the you from yesterday.
Not gonna lie, choose gratitude, especially in the face of adversity, takes effort. But I choose gratefulness anyways
In the end, none of this will matter
Not to sound morbid, but when we’re on our deathbeds, I don’t think anyone is going to regret not spending more time on social media.
There are much more important things in life, and we should prioritize accordingly. Spend time with your loved ones or on your hobbies. Don’t give the people and things that drain you anymore of your precious time and energy!
Before realizing these things, I wanted to shut down my social media accounts and my blog, because it was just too stressful. But once I started to see the bigger picture and figure out what my priorities were, all that self-induced stress started to disappear. I don’t have to let social media consume me, nor should I let it determine my happiness.
Maybe this social media example isn’t applicable to you, but what about your job? Or relationships? Or just life in general ?
The principles are the same, and if you’re going through any kind of rut right now, I hope that these 5 reminders will change your perspective for the better like they did for me. Have a beautiful week everyone!
I agree with everything that you said ! people show what they want us to see in social media. most of the times, what we see is not true and it does not reflect real life.
clairetalksbeauty.com
Exactly! It’s easy to get caught up in all the pretty photos and forget that those are only a small reflection of those people’s lives!
Oh Jenny, I couldn’t agree more with everything you have mentioned in this post. I did a similar (ranty..) post some weeks ago and was surprised to realize just how many fellow bloggers felt the same way that I did. Sadly fake followers, likes and comments are so common in our Middle East region, it is so sad. Brands still “buy” it and I only hope for the day when they can identify real work from bot shit as you have called it haha. I even had one of the bloggers I know send me hateful comments through her fake accounts, tagging brands telling them to stop working with me. I think you just have to block them and move on. Your blog is amazing, don’t quit! Always here to support you xx
Aww, thank you so much for your sweet comment Naya! I was surprised by the positive feedback on this post as well (might be my most commented on post ever!), and it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in my struggles :)
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry that you had to deal with someone so awful! That is definitely the definition of shitty people >_< Glad you were able to move on from that negativity!
I can see why some people would take social media to the extreme if they are blogging for profit. For me, I don’t blog for profit, so while I do share my posts on Twitter and such, I am not going to obsess with every number. I do check my Statcounter, but it’s the analyst in me.
Shitty people will definitely be everywhere, and it’s all how we handle it. Out of those shitty people, there are the awesome folks we meet, and I am thankful to everyone one of those people, too ^^
Being grateful and not comparing myself is one thing I have to constantly remember. I like how you wrote we should compare ourselves to our past selves! That’s a good advice. All five advice you typed make a lot of sense, and it’s good to remember them.
Yep, I agree, it’s definitely not as stressful if blogging is purely a hobby and not for profit. However, even if we blog for profit, we can definitely adjust our mindset and realize that money isn’t everything :) Gratefulness is something I’m continuously working on as well, it definitely helps when I try to count the small blessings every day!
All 5 of these lessons are very true and something i’ve learned. People can get caught up with numbers and likes and this need to post their entire life on social media and make it ‘appear’ a certain way. There’s more to life then social media, there are many out there who seem to have it all on social media but that doesn’t necessarily reflect how their lives actually are. Lovely post!
http://www.themakeupaficionado.com
Thank you for reading Bernadette! I totally agree with you, it’s really dangerous to assume that what you see in social media is a complete reflection of someone’s life!
The layout looks awesome!!
Social Media – wanting to delete accounts is so familiar! Thats for the tips, definitely helpful!
Thank you Mija, glad you found the tips helpful :)
Lovely talks we have in here. I do agree with your thoughs and true dont mess with those shitty people. LOL
Haha, like they say about arguing with shitty people, they drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience!
Really great post! Staying positive and grateful in all situation is so important and it’s also important to not take things so serious that we lose ourselves.
Ann-Marie | http://facetocurls.com
Thank you Ann-Marie! :) Exactly, it’s all about having the right perspective and attitude!
Amazing post! I used to compare myself a lot to others. Thats what made me close down my first blog, I though I wasn’t as good as the other bloggers and there was no point uploading crap content to the internet. But know I just try to do my best and only look at other bloggers for inspiration and motivation.
Vanessa x | http://www.springlilies.com
Thank you Vanessa! :) Aw no, sorry to hear about your experience with your first blog, but glad that you came back again! It’s amazing how a change in our perspective can help us get through our difficulties!
totally agree with you on these points.
THE FASHION MATTERS- Travel & Fashion blog
Thanks for reading!
I only recently started my blog and I have second thoughts nearly everyday. If i hadn’t paid for my domain name I probably would have packed up already. I just really struggle with the comparison and numbers thing so #1 and #4 were really important for me.
Thank you!
Kate || http://www.katerattley.com
Aw no, definitely don’t give up! It’s always tough starting out at first, and I think the most important thing is finding a community that will support you throughout your journey :) Best of luck!!
Just popping by on my usual blog day when I have nothing to do at work. At first I thought u were going to talk about your skills here on the blog and IG but this is waaay better! Girl, #2 en #3 are sooo the same with me. I hate when I check someones account and the next day they suddenly have 5K extra followrs? It is soo sad to see that people are so focused on getting that specific amount to work more with brands. I started working with brands when I has less than 2K on my IG, its all about content! Ughh, those short comments that don’t say anything and are mostly “automatic” reactions to gain more traffic.. So happy to hear that we are on the same line!
xx – An – http://thebeauparlour.com/
Aww, thanks for stopping by and reading An! :) Nah I’m an IG noob compared to all you awesome ladies, so I’d be embarrassed to share my skills (if any, haha). But so glad you enjoyed this version!
Honestly I feel like brands have to take a bit of responsibility for the whole cheating thing. Maybe if they weren’t so number oriented, then there wouldn’t be the pressure to cheat, though 2 wrongs don’t make a right, so yeah, it’s just bad either way. I do appreciate companies that understand there’s more to “success” than numbers, kudos to them! :)
Loved this post and couldn’t agree more with any of the points. Numbers aren’t everything and I really wished brands and others could see that, also I’ve stopped comparing myself with other accounts too, I try and do my best on each platform and compare myself with myself lol :) xx
tipscapsule.blogspot.com
Thank you Trishna! :) I agree, people (especially brands) should realize that quality content and engagement isn’t something that can be defined by numbers alone! Like you said, as long as we’re improving ourselves, that’s all that matters :)
Totally agreeing! Hhehe, if ever numbers actually define my success, then dang- I’d be so depressed; But i ain’t got time for that!!
The new theme looks so clean and neat! I’m thinking about re-doing mine as well; I kinda feel like I wanna bring back a sidebar— but I love big images! Plus I’m also thinking about moving over to Squarespace… *sigh* So many things on the to-do list!
p.s. JUST KILL OF INTERNET EXPLORER :D Who still use internet explorer? :P
Eee, thanks Carol! That means a lot coming from a talented designer like you! Squarespace does look really clean and user friendly, but I love tweaking and customizing things too much to ever switch :P
And yes, no more stressing over numbers, it’s not worth it! Kind of like how it’s not worth stressing over the fact that people still use IE, haha :P
Your old theme was beautiful, and so is this new one! Everything you mentioned is so true when it comes to social media, especially for bloggers. Sometimes I find myself stressing and obessesing over things such as taking photos, writing posts, deciding when to post, etc. The whole Instagram issue also helped me reflect on everything too. I think it definitely made me more appreciative of the wonderful people I’ve met through social media, whom I’d choose over having thousands more followers any day! It’s sad how numbers do matter in some perspectives, but it really shouldn’t be a measurement for your happiness level with your content. This post is really great- I love how you put everything into perspective and reminded everyone that in the end, social media won’t matter that much. It should just be for fun and enjoyment, after all!
Alsl, the image at the end with all the browsers is so adorable and funny ???? I can’t remember the last time I used IE, I’d be surprised if anyone still does!
Aww, thank you so much Gloria! <3 I still stress out over taking pictures (though that's more due to my OCD than anything else) but it's nice having one less than to worry about now! Like you said, quality over quantity! I get so much more joy connecting with people through comments anyways! :)
And oh my gosh you'd be surprised at how many people still use IE! Basically any number greater than 0 is too many, haha
I love this post! I feel like social media is so present in our lives nowadays, and you give such good tips on how to deal with it, the good and the bad!
xo,
Mary
thedashofclass.com
Thanks so much for reading Mary! It is crazy how prevalent social media is in our lives now, and it’s definitely easy to become obsessed with it if we’re not careful!
I feel all these! I know it’s just social media but it still is hard to see it and how everyone displays their unicorn lives while having their numbers grow. It took me awhile (and still does) to not care. By taking social media detoxes it has helped a lot. I think as long as we remind ourselves these are the high points in someone’s life and it’s not an everyday thing it can always help keep us sane lol
I know how you feel! But then I remind myself that the photos I post on social media is but a small aspect of my life as well (the nice parts obviously, haha), so chances are that’s what others are doing as well :P
Aw I like this post! Social media has taught me a lot. During the day time I also work in advertising, so I am on internet overload 24/7! Haha. And yes, shitty browsers need to DIE. I like the very last part here about not taking it too seriously. Sometimes I take a step back and I remind myself to only post things that I want to post and that make me happy. Sometimes we can get caught up in likes and followers, and figuring out the algorithm. It’s just not worth it to stress over! I’ve also learned over time that numbers do not define my success. I think it’s just as important to put out good quality content, than it is to have millions of followers. Often time they do go hand in hand, but not always! I’ve worked with some brands just based off the fact that I have nice aesthetics.
-Emily http://www.coatandcoffee.com
-Emily http://www.coatandcoffee.com
Thank you Emily, so glad to hear that! I work in web dev, so I’m especially sensitive to shitty browsers, especially since clients seem to especially enjoy using them, haha.
I agree, I find myself producing much better content when I do it out of joy and passion, rather than from the point of just trying to increase the numbers. I’m glad that there are brands out there that realize great content and quality readership is just as important as pretty stats!
Such a great post to remind everyone not to take things so seriously. All good points!
Thanks for reading Lisa! :)
Jenny, really loved this one as usual, the number of followers is, very often, a criteria that ‘defines’ a person and how successful they are. Being in school with teenagers everyday, I never stop hearing about followers and social media. But at a certain point, I just stopped caring; It’s not worth getting annoyed about.
Lots of love,
Marina Rosie xx
http://marinawriteslife.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much Marina! It’s crazy how obsessed we are as a society with using numbers to define success, and it starts at such a young age too :/ Totally agree though, you realize at a certain point it’s just not worth the stress!
As someone who constantly – and I mean CONSTANTLY – checks social media, it’s hard for me not to think about my numbers. But I rest well knowing that I don’t buy my followers :P Thank you for this, it has reminded me not to sweat the small stuff.
You’re welcome Ela :) I used to be like that and I’m making a very conscious effort now to really cut down my social media time, and focus on the things that bring me real joy!
Thank you for this post! I just realized another reason why my instagram went from 600+ likes a photo to barely over 100. I have been shadowbanned :( I have to start all over now so this post is really useful.
Aww, so sorry to hear that Brianna :( The same thing happened to me as well, so I’m taking a bit of a break and hoping it’s just temporary. Fingers crossed!
I love this post! I think we can all agree as bloggers that sometimes it can be very disheartening when we pour our hearts and soul into a post and don’t see the feedback or engagement that we are looking for. But similar to what you stated, numbers at the end is just numbers and we have to stay true ourselves and our beliefs.
http://www.pennyanddash.com
Thank you so much Mel! That was exactly how I felt, and I’m glad I realized this and didn’t sell myself out.
Love this post, I totally agree with you. It took me time to realize that numbers don’t define succes, it almost became an obsession! luckily I got over it :)
Sonia
http://www.soniaaicha.com
Thank you so much Sonia! I definitely was obsessed with number, and I’m glad I’ve finally realized how unhealthy that was!
This is great advice. You really can’t compare yourself to others, it is why we are all unique in our own way. This was very positive and lovely to read :) http://www.bauchlefashion.com/2017/03/how-bazaar-street-style-accessories.html
Thank you so much Heather, so glad you liked it :) That’s so true that we’re all unique, and we really should learn to appreciate our own strengths and abilities instead of envying others!
Oh yes, so true! Don’t compare yourself to anyone and stay positive :) numbers don’t define nothing !
With love,
Dasynka
http://dasynka.com/
Thank you so much for the encouragement Dasynka! <3
These are so true! Thanks for sharing :)
http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/
You’re welcome, thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it! :)
Oh, yes, Social media is for fun. It’s work that’s a lot of fun too, if we can’t see it that way then no point being on social media.
I agree, it’s all about having the right perspective!
Definitely agree with all of the things you have learned from social media. While social media is definitely an important aspect of today’s world – especially when it comes to marketing and work – it should never take control and we should always keep things in perspective. For me an important lesson is that social media can be a whole lot of fun, but that we need to put our phones down and remember the whole world right in front of our faces.
Rae | LFB Blogazine
That’s such a great lesson Rae! So true that our lives aren’t limited to what’s on our phones (or computers), and that there’s so much more out there. Thank you for sharing!
Jenny, thank you for sharing your experience and how to cope with some of the not so positive aspects of social media. I adore following you on Instagram and here on the blog! You have such an effortless writing style, such a positive message and stunning photos! But above all, you are one of the kindest most supportive people I’ve met thru Instagram and the blog! I feel very grateful to call you my friend!
I used to get consumed by numbers and deeply affected by a few negative comments I have received over the years, but I think putting things into perspective and reassessing my priorities have allowed me to rid myself of these demons and focus instead on creating meaningful content. I am grateful for everything that has come my way and constantly work at reminding myself that.
Thank you Jenny for this post! I really enjoy reading this kind of content from you! Hope you have a beautiful and productive week ahead!
~ Cat L.
http://www.CatsDailyLiving.com
Cat, thank you so much for your sweet words and continuous support <3 It really means a lot to me. You're always so kind and so positive, and it's truly inspiring. I feel very fortunate to call you my friend as well!
You're absolutely right about putting things into perspective. There are so many ways we can look at things, and I refuse to dwell on the negativities and let that consume me and spill over into all areas of my life. I want the content I create to come from joy and positivity, not from frustration or stress or any of that bad stuff!
So glad to hear you enjoyed this post, and hope you have a great week ahead too!
First up, I love your previous theme but this looks amazing too, Jenny! That conversation between browsers meme though, LMAO! Thank you for a good morning chuckle. I switched over to Macbook in 2014 and never looked back.
I read your post on choosing to be grateful of what you have, I think we all need a little reminder of that every now and then. We get so swept up in the rat race, we often forget to appreciate what we already have. And I couldn’t agree more about social medias, I’m done with the numbers and I’m not just saying that…I am honestly done. I post when I want to and when I have something concrete to talk and post about, am not doing it because ‘I must and I have to’ anymore. It’s a race that I can’t win and quite frankly, there is no end to the race. There’s always something more to do, more followers to gain, more stats to chase…life has got to be more than that.
And onto those pesky negative trolls and people who are just poaching for a fight on social medias…I got my first experience a few weeks ago when I posted a picture of my home cooked dinner. Someone who is vegan just couldn’t help herself but comment about the poor cows because I cooked steak. Like seriously, I understand that she’s passionate about being vegan but what about respecting others choices too? We are all different in this world; different background, upbringing, religions so what happened to mutual respect of each other? I have many friends who are either vegetarians or vegans but they don’t go around trying to shove a broccoli down everyone’s throat.
Okay, this comment is way longer than I intended….told you I have lots to comment! Haha!
Aww, thank you so much Shireen!! And high five for switching over to Apple ????, I groan every time I have to use Windows now because it’s just so…awful in comparison :P
I totally agree with you about life not being a race, it’s a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed and appreciated. I’m actively trying to stop caring about numbers as well, because stressing over those meaningless statistics does my mind (AND MY SKIN!!) no good. Like you said, there’s never going to be a finish line for chasing those numbers, why exhaust ourselves then?
And wow, that girl is rude. Why would you think it’s ok to tell people (especially strangers) how they should live their lives?? It doesn’t matter what your intentions may be, but come on, have some common sense and manners. Do they not realize that they’re turning people off from whatever cause they’re trying to promote? I totally lol’ed at your comment about shoving broccoli down people’s throats though, because I’m sure my parents were this close to doing that to me when I was a kid and hated my veggies ????????
No worries about the length, I really enjoyed reading your (and really everyone’s) comments, so thank you for taking the time to write this out!
I’m so glad I read this today. My feelings for social media are all over the place. I love it, but I also often find myself comparing the quality of my work and my numbers to other people, and I lie awake at night thinking I should upload more pictures to Instagram, find a theme I can stick to, etc etc and…it definitely doesn’t bring me happiness. I’m so glad for the people I’ve met along the way though.
Aww, glad I posted just in time then! I’m right there with you when it comes to social media, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of others feel this way too. It’s one of my goals now to stop letting social media (especially IG) dictate my life because the stress it causes just isn’t worth it. But yes to meeting awesome people along the way, that’s definitely the most rewarding part!
I agree, staying positive and grateful in every situation is very important for our own sanity. Lovely written post!
xo
http://www.carinavardie.com
Thank you for reading Carina! Definitely, having a positive mindset during a tough situation is what really helps us get through it!
Such a well-written post Jenny! So much truths, particularly about the number. It’s so easy to game the numbers these days but I’d rather have a loyal readership base than one based on bots and tricks!
Thank you so much Stephanie! I definitely agree with you, quality is always more important than quantity, and that’s something that can’t be faked!